A Drifting Soul
by einstinette
Summary: Set after TLG/ WARNING: HAS SOME SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. Details Artemis's thoughts during the time that he is separate from his body and the only things that kept him anchored to the earth. Hartemis. Read and Review.


A Drifting Soul

Chapter 1

**Third Person POV:**

_For a moment, Artemis was left standing, unharmed, and Butler dropped Holly to rush to his charge's side. Then Artemis's fairy eye glowed green and by the time Butler caught the falling boy in his arms, Artemis Fowl's body was already dead._

Artemis had had a plan. He _always_ had a plan and it always worked out in the end. But this time the all too potent voice of the universe had spoken and no one person could stand against them. No one person could cheat death forever, and it was by this law that the all too short life of Artemis came crashing to an end.

Luckily as any genius, he had foreseen the possibilities of his death and came up with a viable plan for his survival. It just required his DNA and careful planning. Now, he just needed six months. Six months of holding his very essence together in a never attempted endeavor that may just end in his utter destruction. It seemed like a cruel irony. His first real failure may just be his last.

But he couldn't think of that. His mind tried to focus on other things. Even in the scope of human life six months didn't seem very long, but to the free-wheeling ectoplasmic spirit that was now Artemis, it was an eternity. The spirit was meant to be attached to a body and without one it could barely fight the overwhelming desire to rejoin the resounding splendor of the natural world.

Any normal human would have faded away, giving into the pull of the universe, within twenty-four hours, but as Master Fowl always proudly declared: he was not a _normal _human. He was so different that the first month was easy; it was child's play, much like splitting an atom. He stretched his consciousness and used his time to study the mysteries of the universe that were suddenly flipped open like a book to him.

But as the second began, he started to feel less grounded. His thoughts became more apt to wandering as his brain struggled to maintain coherence. There was such a tugging sensation inside of him. It was like a sweet voice murmuring in his mind, urging him to just let go, to merge with the trees, the flowers, all of nature and forget that he ever was something different. Because in nature all was one and one was all. His humanity meant nothing because it was just a portion of what nature had to offer, and would crumble to an end just as everything else did.

It took every bit of his will power to hold it together, but such repression came at a price. There was always a dull ache in his center that refused to dissipate. Right now, he was just a passenger, attempting to hold on and praying that he wouldn't be washed out to the proverbial sea.

With each passing moment, he grew weaker. Artemis thought back to the LEP mind wipes. The right mental and emotional stimuli had negated its effect. Perhaps the same sort of positive reinforcement would work again at the very least as a distraction from his ever lasting pain.

Thoughts of the ones that he loved churned violently in his brain. Butler, his body guard and ally. His second father, his confidante. His mother, her smile and twinkling eyes, her never ending love and acceptance of all of his flaws. His father. He hadn't been there when Artemis was young, but now he listened to more than just stock portfolio reviews. He actually showed just how much he cared for his family. And the small cheerful boys, beaming up at him behind chubby faces and bright eyes. Beckett's silly jokes and paintings, Myles' intelligence and experiments that reminded him so much of himself at that age.

All of these warm memories slipped through his brain. It was like trying to catch and hold water in his bare hands, and for the first time he was playing and losing a game that he didn't even know the rules to. It was a bitter sweet moment. Ironically, he was strong enough to endure longer than any other, but for once being the best didn't matter. He would still fail and disappoint all of those who depended on him.

In the end, it didn't really matter anymore. He was finally at a measure of peace, accepting death even though he just wanted to live. Ah, irony, the cruelest mistress that any man may know.

In the moments that he thought were his last, he finds his wandering dribbles of thought briefly wondering what Holly would think of him now. Holly. Just her name strengthened the tether that bound him to the earth and the realm of the living.

This was funny too. When he was alive, he'd never really noticed how beautiful she was. Her nut brown skin that turned just the lightest shade of pink when she was angry or embarrassed. Her hazel eyes that expressed her every emotion. The same eyes that flashed with anger, that shone with joy, and that shimmered with tears. Her pretty, red lips that hurled insults and found ways to appear perfectly attractive even when they were pursed in anger. He knew for a fact that they tasted even better than they looked.

She was so strong physically and emotionally. When they were in the Eleven Wonders theme park and Artemis had been panicking, she'd managed to maintain an enviable sense of composure.

She was kind. After all, she had forgiven her kidnapper. She'd saved his life and healed his battered body time and time again. She'd talked to him, listened, and cared. There was an unbreakable bond between the two, the kind that could only be formed by extreme emotional turmoil and shared experiences, the likes of which no one else could understand.

Perhaps that was why he was thinking thoughts like this. Things like his first kiss. People say that you never forget it and it was especially true for him. He still remembered the sharp slicing of the gorilla talons into his pale, thin body, the retching of blood as he felt himself choking on it, and there was nothing that he could do. Nothing except die. But she hadn't given up. With tears in her eyes she held tightly to him and whispered, "Heal."

Blue sparks had knitted his wounds and stopped the gush of internal bleeding. For a second, those eyes remained closed. Tears flowed down the elf's cheeks. She was too late; he was gone. And then they flew opened, leaving her to stare into liquid pools of blue and hazel. He was alive.

The joy swept her out into the sea on a tsunami of feelings, the likes of which she had never before experienced. The next thing he knew, her lips were on his. They were warm, soft, and supple as they moved against his, leaving behind the slight taste of coffee and a flavor that was uniquely Holly. Blue sparks danced around the contact, marking the moment as truly magical. The two clung to each other for dear life until the reality of their situation struck.

Artemis laughed now when he thought back to that day. If only he was as smart as he thought he was. The sparks. They were more than just magic. It was their own spark of… something that no one could possibly replicate.

It's always impossible to say what needs to be said when it needs to be said. In this case it was true. If only Arty had been able to confess his feelings. If only he had known when he had a chance.

In all honesty, he couldn't say that he didn't know before this. When he had kissed her forehead before walking into the unknown, it hadn't all been about transferring DNA. A part of it was to leave her a sense of comfort, closure. And the other part... was to see how it felt to be something more than just friends. And the feeling was...indescribable. Amazing, something that he wanted more than anything.

Before all of this, death didn't really matter. It was just the penalty for losing a game that he probably shouldn't be playing anyway. Now, he had to live if for no other reason than to tell her the truth. That became his preoccupation. Whenever his resolve grew weak, her image would flutter to the fore front of his mind. The tether that she had been became a steel girder, a support beam that would not bend and would not break.

Life or the lack of it continued on for days and weeks until finally something interrupted the monotony. It was a voice and that in itself was not odd, but it was the sound of the voice. Clear and passionate above the passive hum of everything around him. "It's all done now. Either he appears or we have lost him forever."

That voice. It was hers. Holly's. Even now he could remember the sweetness of her voice and take a thrill of pleasure from it. It was the call of an angel, drawing his attention to something physical for the first time in months.

The first thing that he saw was Holly. Her eyes wide, yet determined as she stared down. It was his body, laid out there as an offering for his ethereal form to take control of.

Finally things were clear. He had managed to persevere for these long months and he was finally safe and able to take a body. Without a thought his spirit flung itself at the empty vessel. The air around him, thick with the burnished orange of rose petals that shimmered and shined in the sunny sky. They rose, blocking out the sun until they dropped to the ground, abruptly as if nothing had happened.

"Artemis. Artemis, please." He tried to move. He really did try. But he couldn't force his limbs to comply. Instead he just laid there in a state of uncomfortable stillness. He could feel her gentle, sweet breath ghosting over his face as she leant down over him, and it made him realize that he couldn't breathe. Air would neither go in or out of his lungs and he felt himself shutting down.

He knew what was wrong. Only the main parts of him had made it back, the rest was still fighting to float back into position. Without that part, he couldn't be whole and he would die just as he had the chance to live.

"Artemis," she hissed urgently. "Artemis, come back to us." And with that order some sort cosmic rubber band snapped, pulling the rest of him with it.

He took two sharp gasping breaths, his first in months. They were amazing, like heaven. The air even though it was laced in toxins was the sweetest flavor that he had ever tasted. It was rich and perfect and wonderful. With that his eyes shot open to reveal a shockingly eerie blue as they darted around warily.

"Be calm. You are safe now."

The law of cosmic displacement followed certain principles of matter conversion and the combination of ethereal and physical molecules. Simply stated, when these molecules reunited, a certain fall out must occur. Depending on the mass and concentration of said molecules, this fall out could be anything either external or internal and ranged from a gentle wind to a nuclear explosion.

Thankfully for all of those involved, Artemis had managed to exercise an enormous amount of will power that caused only a temporary case of memory loss. "Stay back," he threatened even though he was unarmed and weak from his long absence. "You don't know what you're dealing with." None of the others felt alarmed. The prevalent emotion was staunch relief that Artemis was alive and that they were no longer without their resident world-saving genius.

The fairy girl took his hand, her small one engulfed by his much larger one. "We do know you, Artemis. And you know us. Try to remember." He tried and he could see dull flashes of disjointed memories, but they slipped away as quickly as they had come, leaving him feeling weak and frustrated. But Artemis Fowl was not one to quit. He kept trying until the dense clouds parted slightly from the front of his mind.

"Y...you. You are my friend?" He was hesitant using the word friend. It was potent, but the flavor on his tongue was somewhat delightful, freeing. He had friends, ones that seemed to care deeply about him.

Tears of relief filled her mismatched eyes. He was alive. She really hadn't lost her best friend. Not that easily. "Yes. We are friends."

Suddenly, his brain turned on, forming all of the connections that had been burned away. "Holly," he murmured before the stress of the day got to be too much and he collapsed.

Those cold blue eyes finally opened once again, and Artemis found that he was lying in the comfortable midst of his own bed. He delighted in the softness of his own sheets, something that he hadn't felt in what seemed like an eternity

He took a sort of gleeful exultation in the mismatched eyes that watched him warily. "Artemis, you're okay." she whispered, moving to gently run her hands over his face. Her hand was lighter than a feather, almost as though she was afraid that he may break into thousands of tiny fragments.

He felt like laughing. After all of what he had been through, lying in bed would not break him. His large hands caught her smaller one and held it to his cheek. "You should know that nothing as mundane as death can keep me down."

Holly chuckled. Trust Artemis Fowl to say something like that. "How did it feel?" She didn't have to say what. They both knew that she meant death.

A wry smile touched his lips. "Like the entire universe was attempting to pull all of my essence apart and toss it to the four winds."

"What kept you together then?"

A slight blush colored his pale cheeks as he considered the answer. "For a while nothing; I was disintegrating. Not even thoughts of my family could save me."

"Then what did?" She didn't know why she was whispering. Perhaps it was the thought of life after or perhaps it was the stark truth of how close she had come to losing him forever.

Artemis had never been one to second guess himself, but then again he had never been the type to die either. It would be a gross misstatement of truth to say that Artemis did not consider ignoring the question, but his experience as a spirit taught him things that he hadn't known. That life was too short and could come to a screeching end at any time. "You did."

Her breath caught in her throat. Had she heard that right? "W...what?"

Artemis began talking and once he began he couldn't stop. Not until he had finished. "I don't know exactly when I began feeling this way. Though I'd wager it was even before my mind wipe. Perhaps even from soon after I met you. All that I do know is that even words cannot express my abject admiration and affection for you."

Holly couldn't believe what she had just heard. "Did you really just confess your feelings for me in such a... wordy way?"

"Why yes I did. Was there something wrong with that?"

She rolled her eyes. Honestly, he could be rather dumb for a genius. "Would it kill you to just say how you feel in _simple _terms?"

"I thought I just did. Though if you can do better, you're welcome to try."

Her warm eyes burned into his and she accepted his challenge with a grin of her own. "Artemis," she whispered, still unsure of why. "I... I love you."

His eyes bulged slightly as he lost his usual composure. "Excuse me?"

"What? You think you're the only one that realized something while you were... indisposed. Not likely. Read my lips. I. Love. You."

"As I love you."

He leaned in timidly, unsure of how his actions would be received. His lips barely made contact, and she didn't' pull away. Taking that as an acceptance, he pushed himself closer, closing the distance. It was sweet, gentle, and loving. The two held onto each other, afraid to back away in case they may be separated again.

The two finally pulled away from each other, Holly sporting incredibly red cheeks. Her blush only fueled his smirk. Being good at everything was something that he highly enjoyed especially when it came to his relationship with Holly. "That's going to take some getting used to."

His smirk widened even further. "I assure you, you'll have plenty of time to adjust."

"So, you're saying there'll be more of this?"

"Of course."

She beamed brightly, enjoying the moment, and anticipating many better ones to come. "Can't wait."

**A/n:**

** Here's another story for you guys. This one is in the Artemis Fowl Universe, so hopefully it'll please the Holly's Diary fans. I hope you like it even though it's pretty OOC. Thanks for reading and just being great people in general.**

** So, as usual. Read and review the story. As always, flames are welcome, because they keep me warm and toasty at night.**

___**Remember: Reviews = happy camper. Happy camper = quicker updates. Quicker updates = you reading more. It's a cycle. Keep it going!**_

**Yours Truly, Madly, and Deeply,**

**Einstinette**


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